{"id":586,"date":"2018-11-23T18:07:58","date_gmt":"2018-11-23T18:07:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/?p=586"},"modified":"2018-12-19T15:45:54","modified_gmt":"2018-12-19T15:45:54","slug":"the-nicknames-of-the-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/2018\/11\/23\/the-nicknames-of-the-family\/","title":{"rendered":"Nicknames of the Family"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Nicknames are a BIG thing in our family. \u00a0Mostly because of Christina, who gives just about everyone a nickname. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Suckass, Sasshole, The Boy Wonder \/ The Terrorist and the Neighborhood Spanker are the main nicknames in our family.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I am leaving out the dog because he has so many names I can\u2019t keep track.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Plus, there seem to be new ones daily.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I tend to stick with TJ or \u2018asshole\u2019 because he pees in our family room daily.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>In his defense, and the only reason he is still living, TJ suffers from pretty bad seizures and he just forgets where he is sometimes. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">However, like with TJ the dog, Chris doesn\u2019t stop with just one nickname, she will give you a TON of nicknames. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">This isn\u2019t a big deal but for some reason, when Chris gives you a nickname, it tends to stick. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Here are the nicknames for The Boy, courtesy of Chris, that she uses daily: <\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">The Boy Wonder<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"p3\">The Terrorist<\/li>\n<li class=\"p3\">Noodle<\/li>\n<li class=\"p3\">Poodle<\/li>\n<li class=\"p3\">Doodley butt &#8211; don\u2019t ask, I have NO idea, or maybe it is noodley butt or both&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">One of the worst nicknames, and one that has 100% stuck, is one of our neighbors children, Karlyn. \u00a0When she was a baby, she had SUPER long, skinny legs and was wrinkly white like some babies are when they are born. \u00a0She looked just like a chicken in the store. \u00a0Chris proclaimed, \u201cOh, she\u2019s my little CHICKEN!\u201d \u00a0Karlyn is almost a teenager and to this day everyone, even her parents, call her Chicken. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Two other children who lived across the street from us are Auburn and Caleb.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Auburn is also one of the kids who escaped getting a nickname except for the totally appropriate, \u2018Aubbie\u2019. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Caleb was given the nickname \u2018Big\u2019 by his parents because he was HUGE when he was born.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>What boy wouldn\u2019t just love that nickname. \u00a0He has mostly outgrown it, pun intended, and most people now call him by his given name, but not us. \u00a0He will forever be \u2018BIG\u2019 to our family. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">In a beautiful piece of irony, Chris even nicknamed herself. \u00a0She was telling a story about how whenever kids in the neighborhood were in trouble, they got sent to Chris to get spanked, \u201cI am the Neighborhood Spanker!\u201d, she said laughing.\u00a0 I have just shortened it to &#8216;Spanker&#8217;.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>The Doppel<\/b><\/span><span class=\"s2\"><b>g\u00e4nger<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">A family story from Isabella,\u00a0AKA Suckass, about Christina.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Mom has always been a person who doesn\u2019t fit in with a crowd. Whether it\u2019s her personality or the way she looks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Mom has always stood out in Boulder. She\u2019s either laughing, cursing at me for teasing her, or she\u2019s chasing The Boy. Unlike everyone else who has somewhere to be and something to do. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Mom is on the short and curvy side. She\u2019s not fat, far from it actually. Recently she\u2019s all muscle. But living in a city where everyone looks like a muscular street pole, it\u2019s like she\u2019s holding up a neon sign saying \u2018I\u2019m not a crazy triathlete who spends 8 hours a day biking up the Rocky\u2019s\u2019. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So when I see a woman dressed the exact same a my mom with the same curves, same hair color and hairstyle, and is the same height as her I naturally assumed that it was her. Since everyone else in the Safeway was 6\u20195 and pure muscle. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">The woman was looking at all of the different kinds of yogurt in the milk section. So, me being me I go up to her all stealthily with my arms armed and ready to tase her with all I had. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Then I hear \u201cBella!\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I turned around so fast to see my mom standing there laughing. I looked at the woman and then mom and then back at woman again seeing the differences between the two. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">By then mom was laughing so hard she was doubled over and her face was as red as a cherry. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I grabbed our cart and basically ran the opposite direction of mom and the stranger. Mom eventually caught up to me saying, \u201cI should have let you jump scare that poor woman just to see the look on your face when she turned around!\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">She still holds that moment over me to this day saying that she wishes with all her heart that she should have let me scare her. I think it\u2019s one of her favorite stories about me making a fool of myself. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nicknames are a BIG thing in our family. \u00a0Mostly because of Christina, who gives just about everyone a nickname. Suckass, Sasshole, The Boy Wonder \/ The Terrorist and the Neighborhood Spanker are the main nicknames in our family.\u00a0 \u00a0 I am leaving out the dog because he has so many names I can\u2019t keep track.\u00a0 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":824,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69,70],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=586"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":826,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/586\/revisions\/826"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/824"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}