{"id":866,"date":"2017-12-15T15:01:25","date_gmt":"2017-12-15T15:01:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/?p=866"},"modified":"2018-12-21T19:13:20","modified_gmt":"2018-12-21T19:13:20","slug":"parade-of-lights-2017","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/2017\/12\/15\/parade-of-lights-2017\/","title":{"rendered":"Parade of Lights 2017"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have to put this experience somewhere. I need to process it. I need to tell someone and that someone is usually James but I can\u2019t and won\u2019t do that to him right now. <\/span><\/p>\n

As I sit here at 10pm there are people I can call and they would pick up the phone in an instant. I know that. Honestly though, there are only a few that would REALLY get it and if I make those call then I am turning into a hot ass mess and that can\u2019t happen; hell, I\u2019m only on day fucking 4 of James 21 day trip! <\/span><\/p>\n

So, here it goes: <\/span><\/p>\n

Life with and for the Boy Wonder (BW) has been a bit more of a challenge since his birthday at the beginning of November. His birthday follows right after Halloween so it is a fast and furious week for the small human and this year we hosted his first birthday party with friends. A HUGE milestone that was perfect in every way. We then rolled right into Thanksgiving and then James left for Germany. <\/span><\/p>\n

Even though we were quite careful on the young man\u2019s sugar consumption clearly something got triggered because his craving for sugar was like something I had never seen before. He was caught climbing shelves in the pantry to find the \u2018good stuff\u2019, looking in cabinets for hidden juice boxes from the party, waking put twice at 2:45am in a 4 day period and staying awake all night, wanting to eat cereal 24\/7 etc. You know normal Autism stuff\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

He was also yelling a lot more and basically acting like an unhinged 3yo. The daily destruction in the house is maddening!\u00a0 <\/span>Even his DO said it looks like developmentally he\u2019s hitting the 3\u2019s. AGAIN?!? WTF was the actual year of him being 3 then? I mean for Christ Sake I don\u2019t think I can go through that shit again! <\/span><\/p>\n

So, this now brings me to this evening. BW had a great day, today. Even maintained while the girls and I began putting up the tree and having all the decorations out. BW LOVES Christmas decorations, especially the really big snow globes (you know it\u2019s only a matter of time before those get broken!). <\/span><\/p>\n

I tried to get some protein in him before we left for the Annual Christmas Lights Parade in downtown. Wasn\u2019t too successful, that was the first misstep\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

BW loves the bus so we took it downtown for the parade. The bus was crowded and he had to stand but he did great! <\/span><\/p>\n

When he wanted to go to the park where all the trees are decorated with lights and we said no, that we were going to the parade to see lights and the fire trucks, he didn\u2019t freak out. <\/span><\/p>\n

We get to the parade line when he goes with Bella to investigate the shade cover set up outside our credit union and comes back with a small chocolate chip cookie. Crap. <\/span><\/p>\n

Misstep #2:<\/strong> I let him eat it. Some redirecting ensues because even though I said, \u201c1 cookie and all done\u201d 5 times and made him repeat it back to me to 5 times, doesn\u2019t mean he isn\u2019t 5 and going to try to get more! <\/span><\/p>\n

The parade starts.<\/span><\/p>\n

All is well. Even as the martial arts gym goes by with a spectacular dragon; he\u2019s hanging on (he is obsessed with dinosaurs and dragons). Then, the first guy comes by with candy. Now, how is it that this part of the festivities was completely erased from my f\u2019ing memory?!? I mean, seriously? I am so screwed. <\/span><\/p>\n

Misstep #3:<\/strong> BW get\u2019s handed a Hershey kiss. He inhales it. The vibrating hasn\u2019t started. We\u2019re good. Then a small candy cane. Luckily, most of it fell on the ground, which I quickly crushed with my shoe, I handed him literally a piece that was the size of a tic tac. <\/span><\/p>\n

At this point it\u2019s clear that our time at the parade is going to be coming to an end sooner than later. I then turn around to see him peeling ANOTHER Kiss. <\/span><\/p>\n

This is the moment that could have alleviated a lot of what was to come. I could have and should have removed the kiss from his hand and just dealt with the epic meltdown that would\u2019ve immediately erupted. But I wanted to have this family moment. I wanted to let him have this magical experience. I didn\u2019t want Bella and Nicole to have to leave because of his behavior. Maybe, I just wanted to be like everyone else\u2026..\u201dnormal\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

Misstep #4:<\/strong> I let him eat it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, before the \u2018unhinging\u2019 began I playfully lured him away from the parade barricade and convinced him we were going to go look for the dragon. The parade was doing a circle route and the end of the route is where we headed so we could make a smooth(er) exit when it was all said and done. When he saw the lights he required a lot less convincing that this was the right direction and he came along easily.<\/span><\/p>\n

I knew we had missed the dragon but my hope was he\u2019d be distracted by the parade again and that we were now at the end of the route and closer to the bus stop. <\/span><\/p>\n

Then, even though I had him back a bit in the crowd, he got handed a fun size bag of skittles. The battle was now on and my boundary was a clear \u2018not a chance in hell am I giving this to you\u2019. He quickly began to escalate; trying to grab it out of my hand, searching my pockets screeching \u201cCANDY PLEASE!\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

You know that kid, you can see him\/her right now in your mind. The kid that gets looked at a little too long. The one where people wonder WTH is going on with the parenting of that kid therefore WTH is going on with the parent?! Ya, he was that kid and I am his mom.<\/span><\/p>\n

As I\u2019m attempting to stash the bag until I find a trash, he gets a hold of it and it tears it open and skittles spill on the ground. Before I could even move to grab his jacket he dove onto the ground, between to guys, and shoved a mother f\u2019ing skittle in his mouth. <\/span><\/p>\n

Game Over.<\/span><\/p>\n

The real shit show has now begun. At this point I had 3.5 blocks to go to get him away from the parade. The last block was across the parade route. Let\u2019s just say that the next 30 minutes made me thankful that I have had the experience of working in a residential pediatric psyche hospital because I used a lot of the skills I learned there, the fact that I simply don\u2019t give a shit what my kid or me, for that matter, looks like at this exact moment and that adrenaline is such a magical hormone because he\u2019s in deep shit I am the only one that can keep him safe.<\/span><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t pretty, there were a lot of stares and parents moving their own children quickly by our little scene but we made it to the last block of our exit. Only it\u2019s across the parade route and the parade guy won\u2019t let us cross. <\/span><\/p>\n

I am literally squatted on the ground with him between my legs, holding him; corralling him with my body. Pressing on his arms and trunk to help him ground. The parade guy clearly does not get that this isn\u2019t normal so when I finally get his attention I think the look on my face finally got him to let us cross. Great right? Wrong. <\/span><\/p>\n

This is the moment when he realizes that we are LEAVING the parade. Needless to say, we didn’t move from that corner for about another 10 minutes. Now I am behind the crowed so I am in full intervention mode. Full body squeezes. Calm chatter in his ear. Grounding through his feet. He keeps screaming and the people walking by and the ones I am behind keep turning around to look. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m 5\u20192 about 120-25 pounds. BW stands about 42\u201d and weighs a dense 50+ lbs. I don\u2019t have a shit ton of leverage. I\u2019ve just carried him and manipulated his progress for about a 1\/4 mile. Overpowering him isn\u2019t going to happen so we sit. I intervene. Somehow I get him on my back for a piggy back ride and get him a couple hundred feet down the street away from the lights and noise. I get him across another side street to the stairs of a church. The church\u2019s float goes by. He starts all over again. As I\u2019m sitting there doing all the things I somehow intuitively know he needs I see Bella and Nicole come running up the street. <\/span><\/p>\n

The need to cry at that exact second was so strong but I couldn\u2019t; he\u2019s wasn\u2019t even close to being done which means we\u2019re not in the clear. The second you let your guard down is the second something goes really, really wrong. <\/span><\/p>\n

As we all start walking together it\u2019s clear that he is way calmer having the 4 of us together. <\/span><\/p>\n

That first wave of relief hit hard and I began to well up. Nicole turned around to see it and stopped to hug me, then Bella and then the BW. He even pulled my face down to touch it to make sure I was okay.<\/span><\/p>\n

As soon as he saw that I good it was on again. One of the only ways to calm and occupy the BW is to run with him. So run we did; about a mile up the street with a laughing, manic BW. Lets not forget that Bella and I are only 18 weeks post Lyme treatment and even though I am 90% better, running a mile after the last 45 minute MMA battle was not what my body wanted. But we ran and each time he stopped he was calmer, less manic. <\/span><\/p>\n

Then, OF COURSE THERE\u2019S ANOTHER THEN, he realizes we are at the strip mall that contains the ice-cream shop! By some miracle Nicole gets him to engage in another game of chase and gets him up another 1\/2 block.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now he\u2019s tired and I finally see a big enough decrease in his overstimulation that I realize he can now focus and the only way we are going to get him home more quickly is with a distraction. <\/span><\/p>\n

So I did it. I handed him my phone. I know. Yet, he ran another block just holding it and made it to the bus stop on time to get on. <\/span><\/p>\n

Thank god he had the damn thing because as soon as we get on the bus there are 3 kids inhaling ice-cream cones but he doesn’t notice. Dinosaurs, baby!<\/span><\/p>\n

We get off the bus, make it across the street and through the front door. BW plops himself on the couch like it\u2019s been a completely normal night. <\/span><\/p>\n

The plan was to decorate the tree when we got back but I am 100% spent. There is no way in hell that is going to happen. Not tonight.<\/span><\/p>\n

As the girls and I work out a plan to decorate and get food Nicole starts telling us about the guy she is going out with for drinks tomorrow night. Apparently he is all kinds of hot and she gets all kinds of stupid (her word) around him. For the next 20 minutes she is a one woman show and\u00a0 <\/span>almost had me peeing my pants! <\/span><\/p>\n

How can I laugh after all that? Survival. One positive that has come out of autism and being sick for so long is the lesson that if you don\u2019t laugh every single chance you get well, you’re not going to make it. Laughter is medicine; it helps heal.<\/span><\/p>\n

As the girls head out to grab dinner I get him up to the bath where the final decompression happens. Water is his happy place. I gave him a lavender salted bubble bath to detox and decompress. He floated and soaked and we played like nothing ever happened because for him it was over. He\u2019s not holding on to it so I shouldn\u2019t either. <\/span><\/p>\n

Easier said than done.<\/span><\/p>\n

As I sit here I am all tapped out, bankrupt. He\u2019s sleeping in his toddler bed right next to me snoring.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is Life on Autism Lane.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have to put this experience somewhere. I need to process it. I need to tell someone and that someone is usually James but I can\u2019t and won\u2019t do that to him right now. As I sit here at 10pm there are people I can call and they would pick up the phone in an […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":877,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[64,59],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-866","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christina","category-holidays-birthdays"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/866","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=866"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/866\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":885,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/866\/revisions\/885"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=866"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=866"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeonautismlane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=866"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}